This is something that comes up very often! Basically we are responsible for our own happiness. If you give that responsibility away to other people or outside circumstances, things get rough! I don’t believe in a Loving Creator that would create a world where our happiness is outside of our hands. If we have no control over our own happiness…that would mean our Creator doesn’t love us and set us up for failure and misery…it just doesn’t make sense.
So, if our happiness isn’t based on our circumstances, it must come from within. I like using extreme examples to make a point because it’s usually clearer to see and we can then apply it to less extreme situations more easily.
Let’s dive right in and look at a relationship. Very often people in a relationship blame the other for their unhappiness. If only they would do this or that…you know the drill. The fact is the only person we can change is ourselves. If we do the self-work necessary to find happiness, it won’t matter if they do this or that. People think they need to fix the relationship, but the relationship is just made up of two people. The relationship isn’t a “thing” that needs fixing, it’s the people that make it up. The beauty of doing the self-work is that there are only two possible outcomes:
1. The relationship continues
2. The relationship ends
If you are doing the work on yourself and the relationship continues, that probably means that the other person did some of their own self-work or you were more of the problem after all and you didn’t see it. Another option is that you’ve found so much happiness from within that the things that were bothering you before don’t even matter anymore. No matter what, you’re happy and the relationship continues.
What if the relationship ends? Well, since you’ve done the self-work, you are a stronger, happier and more capable person than you’ve ever been! Because of this the relationship ending will be it coming to it’s natural conclusion without all the drama or fear. You can be thankful for the lessons you learned during this time and move on to happier, more fulfilling relationships. Either way it’s a win/win!
So, remember when you’re pointing the finger at someone else, there are three more pointing back at you. Don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands. This is your life, do the work and live it to the fullest!