Ego And Complaining

April 2, 2018

There’s a lot of talk about the ego these days and with good reason – it’s been controlling how we think and what we do for the last 5,000 years or so.  It’s probably about time we began to understand it.  Our ego is basically our mind-made self, it’s who we think we are with our brains.  We are male or female, certain color hair and eyes, a parent, a Life Coach, a waitress, who grew up in a good family or a bad family and had whatever experiences we can remember, etc.

This is not who we truly are however.  Who we really are is an eternal, spiritual Being having a human experience…this is the ultimate Truth.  We don’t have to spend a lot of time trying to beat down our ego.  All we have to do is to connect and identify with the Truth of who we are and understand that our mind-made self is just a collection of masks that we wear to play different roles in our lives.

Many things we do in our lives are habitual things that feed the ego in a way that we don’t fully understand.  This is why people tend to keep doing them even though they’re not healthy behaviors.  When someone complains, they are subconsciously inferring that they wouldn’t do it that way if it were up to them.  Thereby also subconsciously inferring that they are better than the person or situation they are complaining about.  This causes a sense of separation between them and what they’re complaining about putting them above the situation in a “better than” position.  In this way complaining is simply stroking the ego to feel better.

Eckhart Tolle talks about this and uses the example of ordering soup and having it come to you cold instead of hot...

  • Complaint: this soup is cold and it’s supposed to be hot, who is cooking back there? Don’t they know how to serve



  • Non-complaint: excuse me, could I get the soup heated up please?

The non-complaint simply addresses the problem without blame or ego-stroking.  The complaint is searching for the “better than” position.  

We do this habitual ego-stroke to make ourselves feel just a little better and it works on a surface level that is never satisfied because we have to constantly feed it.  However, if we connect to who we truly are and function from there we always know we’re good enough.  We’re filled with love, peace and the knowingness that all is well and we are loved beyond measure!  Living from this place is existing in a constant state of contentment and safety in which all is well, all the time.  Even if we have to experience some things we don’t enjoy in this life, there’s an underlying current of peace that is always there and can always be turned to.

Sounds good to me…I say let’s all learn to live from there!

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