The act of giving is something that can fill us with joy and love when done consciously and without attachment. As with all types of giving there must be responsibility. We shouldn’t give what we can’t afford to do without and we also shouldn’t give with any type of condition. If there is a condition than this isn’t considered “giving”, it’s considered an “agreement”.
Which brings me to the most common issue with giving…the undisclosed condition. This is something that causes much distress and many broken relationships. Often someone “gives” to someone in need…they do it because they are “trying to help”, “a good person”, etc. Then down the road they need something and no one is there to “give” to them, so they feel like a victim.
If you look closely at this, what they did when they “gave” was not unconditional and therefore not truly giving. It had an agreement attached that said: when it’s my turn, you must give back to me. However, this was never communicated or discussed. The giving had an undisclosed condition on it which made it an agreement…only this agreement was never communicated. So unconsciously the person giving went from martyr mentality to victim mentality – neither of which is healthy or conscious.
This type of behavior happens regularly and can take different looks. Like depending on someone to give that isn’t capable of giving either financially or emotionally. Or, surrounding oneself with takers and wondering why no one is there to give. Also giving what we can’t afford to lose and then putting ourselves in difficult positions.
Our happiness is our responsibility and so is everything else in our lives. Everything in everyone else’s lives is their responsibility. This is the Truth we have to start from. There’s nothing wrong with giving…in fact it’s one of the most wonderful things we can do. However just as we need to live responsibly, we need to give responsibly and transparently.
Before you give ANYTHING emotional, financial or other ask yourself 2 questions:
Will I be able to handle my responsibilities if I don’t get this back?
Will I be resentful if I don’t get this back?
If the answer is yes to either of those questions, don’t give. Don’t give because it is not someone else’s responsibility to take care of your well-being…it’s yours. When you do give, give freely expecting nothing in return and it feels wonderful to give like that! It’s the only true way to give.
So be responsible for your own happiness and the way you give. If you can afford to give, give openly and freely and experience the unconditional love that flows through an act like that. It’s truly beautiful! If you can’t afford to give freely, be responsible for yourself and don’t give at all. There will surely be a time when you’ll be able to give responsibly in some way in the future. In fact knowing what is outlined in this article alone can guide you to give emotionally in complete freedom and allow you to experience what you wanted to experience the whole time…pure unconditional love!