There is certainly a difference between manipulating people to get what you want and openly receiving what you desire through others. I’ll touch on a few principles manipulative people use, how they work and a healthier way of doing things to help give perspective on things that may seem to work in society compared to what most people would want if they knew they had the choice. This blog is based on a previous podcast done on this topic referring to a book my producer came across: The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.
One principle is to not out-shine your boss. This principle will work if you are looking to make your boss feel better about himself and stroke his ego. An unconscious boss that is not concerned about the success of the business and only about how others perceive him or her will feed off this greatly and want to have you around. The business will obviously suffer at some point because the well-being of the business is not of primary importance…the boss’ ego is.
The nature of everything is to expand so if we expect to be happy, we have to expand. We cannot shrink down or play small to make others feel better. A boss that is focused on expanding the business will be looking for people who are intelligent, capable and can bring a new perspective to the business. Someone that can add to the business, not make he/she feel better about themselves. The primary goal is the expansion of the business and with someone in the lead like that, the business will expand.
Another principle is to be as deceitful as possible. This type of mentality is very short-lived. You could achieve short-term success by lying to people. Once people label you as a liar, you are no longer trusted in any way. Therefore, nothing you say is believed so you can’t continue playing your trick. It’s difficult to do business with or have a relationship with people when they don’t respect you, they don’t trust anything you say and will actively get away from you as soon as possible. This is the type of relationship you are building when it’s based on lies. Eventually the lies will surface and the reputation will be set.
On the other hand if you’d like to build relationships (business or other) out of trust…this can last forever. Trust can not only exist but expand. Things can constantly be taken to new levels because of the trust built in previous levels. No one likes to be lied to and everyone enjoys being trusted. This is not difficult to understand.
It seems a lot of these manipulative principles would fall by the wayside very quickly by simply asking yourself how would I like someone to interact with me? By pretending they’re dumb and I’m smart, or expressing their ideas freely in the spirit of expanding what we have in common? By lying to me and then me finding out down the road or by being honest with me and having a good experience that we can build on if we choose to?
There is no happy destination at the end of an unhappy road. If you walk through life doing negative things to people, you’re not going to arrive at a happy place. You may make some money or have some sort of personal conquest but you won’t like who you are and you can’t hide from that. Walk through life being someone you can love and respect and you’ll actually like the person you’re walking through life with…you. You won’t have to sacrifice success for this…you can have success and like yourself, it’s a beautiful system!